Must read for MBAs: Business Doctors
You'll never see businesses in the same way. Click here.
Entrance exams report – Achamba The Super MBA
Written by Sameer Kamat
You remember our friend Achamba – The Super MBA, don’t you? Oh c’mon, just because he’s been busy with some important MBA work that lesser mortals like you and I can’t fathom, doesn’t mean we write him off.
We bumped into him on Facebook when he shared this picture that seems to have gone viral.
Despite the pathetic resolution, everyone and their dog has been forwarding the image to everyone else and their cat. So we asked Achamba if he’d be willing to take up a secret assignment on our behalf. He had cracked the engineering entrance exam and then the mba entrance exam. He seemed like the best candidate for this critical task.
We asked him to reach out to all the characters in that cartoon to find out what really happened after the animals took the competitive entrance exam. Being a cartoon (literally and figuratively), Achamba took up the challenge. His lineage allowed him to access forbidden worlds that our MBA admissions consultants can’t.
What Achamba uncovered was surprising and enlightening. He has shared the follow-up story exclusively for MBA Crystal Ball readers.
What happened after the Entrance Exam
A little bit about the tree first. After a recent acquisition it’s now called – Corporate Tree. Its primary function is to bear fruits, which are then shipped across the world. In the early days, it would produce apples. But after the first two beta testers (tasters, rather) identified as Mr Adam and Ms Eve complained of forbidden psychological and physical side-effects, the Tree’s senior management decided to produce something safer – oranges.
Achamba first met up with the monkey. As expected, the monkey had cracked the challenge in the entrance exam, graduated from an elite business school (the one that rejected Achamba’s application) and went back to take an enviable position on the by-now-familiar Corporate Tree.
The rest of the test takers (again as expected) didn’t fare too well. Though everyone had high expectations from the crow, surprisingly, it was disqualified for cheating. ‘You were supposed to climb to the top, not fly. Shortcuts not allowed,’ was the explanation given.
Not being content with this abrupt ending, Achamba was keen to find out what happened to each of those who had failed the entrance exam. He didn’t have to hunt too hard for them. The monkey said he was still in touch with the others, as they were providing services to the Tree.
The elephant had opened up a security company. His team now protects the Corporate Tree from unauthorised access. As part of their CSR activities, they also provide protection to endangered species in national parks whenever movie stars are expected to go on a tour.
The penguin launched a startup called Just Chillin’ that provides processing and refrigeration services to the corporate tree. The company makes impressive profits, the culture is informal, the policies are employee friendly. The only gripe that the employees have is with the dress code that the founder loves – tuxedoes.
The technically astute crow started ‘Escrow Payment Services’, an online payment gateway that allows the Corporate Tree to accept orders online. It has recently attracted Series A funding from some of the best Venture Capital firms.
The fish and the seal started a partnership venture (‘Fishy Deals Sealed‘ or simply FDS) to transport the fruits via sea. After all these years, they still can’t climb trees. Also, allegedly, one of the founders (hint: the one with the fins) suffers from body odour. So, all business meetings happen over Skype. Customers have been happy with their service though, and it reflects in their balance sheet.
The dog had a track-record of, er, barking up the wrong tree. Well-wishers told him that his public displays of affection were unprofessional and needed to be controlled. But that’s not what we are talking about here. We are more intereted in his professional life. Numbers and excel sheets were boring. Marketing seemed like an exciting area to get into. Thus, the seeds were sown for the marketing consulting firm ‘Doggy Style’. You might’ve heard their tagline – ‘We make your bark better than your bite’.
What Entrance Exams really teach us
It was heartening to see that despite the perceived failures during entrance exams, everyone had done well for themselves. In fact, those who faced failure earlier struggled harder and were now enjoying the fruits of their labour. As entrepreneurs, they provide various services to the Corporate Tree. The monkey, despite cracking the toughest entrance exam, was still working for peanuts.
All this might seem like an untold chapter from the folk tales and fables you’ve read as a kid. But just like in those stories, there are lessons here as well. Not from the entrance exam itself, but more from what can happen after it.
Lesson 1: When corporate fables involve 2-dimensional animals that take entrance exams & manage companies, the level of credibility can be extremely low.
Lesson 2: The seeds of entrepreneurship just need some fertile ground. The inspiration to follow your dreams can help you overcome odds and find workarounds.
Lesson 3: Statistically, out of every 3 lessons that you read on the internet, only one is worth remembering. In this blog post, it is lesson 2 (so please read the previous point again).
If you have felt disappointed with your performance in entrance exams of any nature (IIT entrance exams, medical entrance tests, MBA entrance exams) or are feeling paranoid about taking one, let this post take off some of that pressure.
Share this story with your friends. Tell them what they can expect from you in a few years.
We thank Achamba for being our undercover reporter for this story.
If you found this interesting, read more about the adventures of Achamba – The Super MBA. Also show thy generosity by clicking the social media buttons.